Too much of a good thing

If ever you plan to give me an irritability-meter, make sure it is calibrated to very high levels. Courier it. If you risk coming within a mile’s circumference of where I am, the learned will assume you want to relocate your facial features. Or resemble Sudhir Mishra (with due respect to his creator).

I have scores of scores to settle (so long, Creativity!).

Nokia earphones first. Unheard of companies like Sony Erection and Pee-lips manufacture decent canalphones that provide proper isolation from surrounding noise. What’s more, they don’t double up as acupuncture kits with a grudge against your ears. What pricks! Pun intended.
The bus driver’s and my music tastes aren’t very compatible. What I mean to say is, it is not too pleasant to hear Radio Mirchi and Radio Indigo simultaneously. This is what an average minute sounds like:
I've found a reasonii de nakhre for me to change who soni lagade o meinu a reason to keindie po po po start over new po po po jaane jaana and the reason is you-oooooo and the reason is mainu bhi nakhre you-ooo and the reason is po po po.

Next.
Orkut has switched to Railway format of timings. (Whatever you call the 1840 hours thing).
Isn’t it of any fucking consequence to them that subtracting 12 requires my as many minutes?

Next.
I’m unable to make up my mind whether to marry Will Smith or Imran Khan. :|
They’ve been waiting out in the lashing rain for 2 days for an answFine! I’ll drop it. :|
But anyone contesting my claim about the absolute cuteness of the former’s incisors or the latter’s skin folds near his temples, can kiss their Sharukh-loving asses goodbye.
Barack Obama, by the way, is out of the race. Not the US presidential one, silly!

Next.
I want to change my name to something that takes less than 9 seconds to pronounce, and 9 months to pronounce right. Suggestions are invited. If you are, in any way, related to Andhra Pradesh Finance minister Rosaiah’s christeners, have mercy and abstain.

Bah, now I'm bored. More coming soon.

Did I hear you groan?

Labels: Rants

Its like the whole universe is mocking me about how less I've been studying.

I was reading this Beatles trivia and I came across George Harrison and Pattie Boyd. Harrison and Boyd.

One fat untouched book. Morrison and Boyd.

If you don't think locating a Reebok store on Sampige road in Malleshwaram is the most frustrating thing to do, only next to living through Madonna's 4 minutes, then you my friend, excuse me for this, think from between your butt cheeks.

I'll tell you why.

First, the disappointment from knowing the fever I had was nothing exotic like Chikungunya; normal viral jazz. To endure assorted sicknesses, without deriving satisfactorily revolted reactions, you must agree, is thankless.

So I was waiting in a bus-stop for my cousins to drive there from their offices so we could go eat dinner someplace. Now you can’t manage to amuse yourself, with just a man there who looked 15 months pregnant, for 2 hours. The thought of him walking into a room, a minute after his belly-button does, can only occupy you for a few minutes. I still had my loyal radio though. Only, it had an impressive way to turn me off too. Katie Perry’s ‘I kissed a girl and I liked it’ had just replaced Coldplay’s ‘Viva La Vida’ on top of the charts. What was the world coming to?! I’d rather tie myself to some rusting track and get run over 438 times than have it on my imaginary 70 GB iPod.

Anyway, my sister called at long last and asked me to locate this restaurant called Rasa on Sampige road and walk to there since it was a one-way, and they couldn’t pick me.
‘Rasa, opposite Reebok’, she said. Which main? ‘Opposite Reebok’. Cross? ‘Opposite Reebok’. Any landmark? ‘Reebok. Opposite Reebok’.

Aah wait. This narrative is getting so fucking boring. I’ll just tell you this smart-fart chick I asked directions from, said Adidas has better stuff, and asked me to go there instead of Reebok. Let’s just say, I gave her a substantial piece of my mind.

Bottom(read: under)line(read: statement) is, I’m not the best person to suggest to, an Adidas store when I’m looking for a Reebok one.

Fine, technically not a bottomline, but you can lay off if I cared.
Damned Reebok fellows have changed their logo. It’s now some gay blue plain writing. I’ll only tell you I walked past the store twice without noticing that was the store. 2 hours. 2 fucking hours.

Bah.

Labels: Rants