Too much of a good thing
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Anything Goes
Everyone has a distinct way of conveying feelings. When bots ask me to download exclusive and irresistible Neetu Chandra wallpapers thrice every day in the comment boxes, I know it’s their way of saying the world misses regular posts on this blog. Ahem.
So have you found yourself going back to those pseudo poetic blogs? As it turns out, all that applesauce isn’t half hard to write. Your first step would be to think up a title for your blog.
This involves only middle-school sentence formation. But you sucked at grammar back then even worse than you do now, you say? That’s not just okay; we’re in fact counting on it. Now think up 7 random words or expressions. Choose (3-5) ones to put together, which on a scale of unlikely to nonsensical, tend towards the right hand side, and voila! there you have it!
For Eg. Tap Water Romances
The man who said absurd is the new poetic was right. He is also fictitious but he most definitely is right. Be generous with colors and seasons, occasionally throw in a material thing and allot sensory sentience to all and sundry.
More examples:
Pilferage of the bluest detail (See? Now imagine that in monotype corsiva size 16. You *almost* sound good to go)
You can go on forever:
Interview of the Summer Fruits
Newlywed February
Paintings of a dizzy cauliflower (You little Yeats, you)
Slightly saner (Green Orange the Hypocrite?) and you’re losing touch. However, if you do, for a change, have any matter to post at all, and you’re the typical liberal arts prick who is emo and endlessly annoy about life and love and everything noone is interested to know about, your whiny crap would go under ‘No breeze is for keeps’ or ‘Demonic gaze of a pedestal fan’.
To complete the effect, give your picture a dim-as-you yellow lighting. Artsy schmaltzy picture of the ear or the feet or the liver or the esophagus- you get the picture (heh).
Lastly, just go far FAR away from my blog.
Too much dal makhani I think.
So have you found yourself going back to those pseudo poetic blogs? As it turns out, all that applesauce isn’t half hard to write. Your first step would be to think up a title for your blog.
This involves only middle-school sentence formation. But you sucked at grammar back then even worse than you do now, you say? That’s not just okay; we’re in fact counting on it. Now think up 7 random words or expressions. Choose (3-5) ones to put together, which on a scale of unlikely to nonsensical, tend towards the right hand side, and voila! there you have it!
For Eg. Tap Water Romances
The man who said absurd is the new poetic was right. He is also fictitious but he most definitely is right. Be generous with colors and seasons, occasionally throw in a material thing and allot sensory sentience to all and sundry.
More examples:
Pilferage of the bluest detail (See? Now imagine that in monotype corsiva size 16. You *almost* sound good to go)
You can go on forever:
Interview of the Summer Fruits
Newlywed February
Paintings of a dizzy cauliflower (You little Yeats, you)
Slightly saner (Green Orange the Hypocrite?) and you’re losing touch. However, if you do, for a change, have any matter to post at all, and you’re the typical liberal arts prick who is emo and endlessly annoy about life and love and everything noone is interested to know about, your whiny crap would go under ‘No breeze is for keeps’ or ‘Demonic gaze of a pedestal fan’.
To complete the effect, give your picture a dim-as-you yellow lighting. Artsy schmaltzy picture of the ear or the feet or the liver or the esophagus- you get the picture (heh).
Lastly, just go far FAR away from my blog.
Too much dal makhani I think.
19 Comments:
Please read the japanese newspaper bots. They have the blues.
:|
Update: this season the theme is "Love thy viper"
I sense the unending assignments and submissions have something to do with this :|
:|
Me little Holmes, Me? :|
Such sublime poetry... :')
I'm in tears here. I think the line "Pilferage of the bluest detail" really captures the pathos of Indian middle-class youth and how their life is being robbed of color. If I'm not mistaken, it also serves as a metaphor for your mother :|
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Very good read, And I must confess, I am one of those ramblers you are taking down - but a good take down is always good :)
"Interview of the Summer Fruits"
Made me laugh to myself, out loud. And it's nice to read a good blog post that is actually about bad blog posts.
Witty and funny.
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