Too much of a good thing
Friday, June 13, 2008
Of He's and She's
It’s funny how this heartbreak thing works!
The very thing that did somersaults in her tummy every time He spoke to her, now lay spent inside her. She felt bad for herself. For not having that proverbial easy charm. For not believing in herself. For always being so insecure. For loving him unconditionally.
There was nobody she could talk to. Nothing they might say could make a difference.
He was her personal 911. He was whom she opened up to. And yet, he was the one she was scared of. She was possessive, and understandably so. Everybody seemed better than her. She feared he would look for greener pastures, after all!
Hold your breath, her fears did come true. Sometimes, knowing what will happen does not prepare you any better for it. He did go. She thought they had traded hearts. She wasn’t prepared for make-shift.
At that point, she hated the world. She despised her parents for making the pitiful being that was her. Cursed God. Lost faith in him. Felt as helpless as hopeless. Gave up on her responsibilities. He had done a good job turning her into a woebegone, broken soul. She had no more tears to cry, so she hurt herself. She substituted it with blood because something had to flow! She did not want to be this vulnerable. She tried sleeping it off, but it also bailed out on her.
And then it came. Exploded. Hate like she never had known. She hated him. And that gave her comfort. Knowing that somewhere deep, really deep, it would sting him to know she loathed him. And that assuaged her. She picked herself up, employed pretense and went about her life.
She loved him.
P.S. The story is completely fictional. The guy would have his rear end burnt if the 'she' in question was meant to resemble me. ;)
Labels: Life gyaan