Too much of a good thing

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Hustle BUStle

Bus rides be a very enriching experience:

You learn to appreciate people’s perspiration prowess. And curse global warming protesters for discouraging the use of deodorants. Hope the new government would make bathing thrice a day a fundamental duty. Fear your feet will become 2 dimensional from all the stamping. The optimist in you surfaces- You always see the bus half empty, never half full.

And then there are these simple joys you never uncover in an air-conditioned Honda City. Finding glee in getting a window seat, Horror at having slept through your stop. Getting off the bus while its still moving, fully knowing the ‘taley kettidiya’ that is going to follow, Relief at the arrival of a delayed bus et al.

And of course, the sporadic memorable anecdotes that come as refreshing antidotes to jaded travels (insert 'that you can tell your grandchildren' if appropriate to probability).

Like the night when some guy in an Esteem with no-fear eyes stickers glaring at you from all over the body of the car misjudged the size of his car and that of his cranial apparatus. He apparently was trying to play dashing cars and in the course, bumped into the bus I happened to travel in. Some heated words later, the drivers of both the vehicles decided to substitute it with flying fists and bleeding lips. Some curious cats stopped, some drove past uninterested. Meanwhile, even as the brawl was underway, one of the more ambitious guys from the car got into the stalled bus and told us we’re all done for unless we get the bus driver to back off. It was as close to bus-hijacking as you can get! :D

And then there are these not-so-sensible-to-tell-your-grandchildren stories.
Like one of the nights I was getting back from tuitions. 3 hours of total overhead transmission in class later, I got a seat next to a total potty-head, who seriously needed classes in English and striking conversations, apart from a life. For the sake of convenience, let’s call him Loser Dolt With Moustache (LDWM)

LDWM: So you go to college?
Me: huh?
LDWM: I go to Surana college.
Me: Kind of them to admit retards! Uh huh!
LDWM: It’s near south end circle
Me: And your head? OK.
LDWM: Which college?
Me: Err... MCC
LDWM: Cool. Coming back from tuitions?
Me: No, knitting lessons. Yes.
LDWM: You have a mobile and all ah?! My parents are not getting me one only!
Me: They’re doing lot of people a favor. It’s not mine. My brother’s.
LDWM: Umm... Don’t you get scared to travel at this time?
Me: WTF! No, I’m a girl. *sneer* :D

And now for the part I’m a pro at: Embarrassing instances.
Just a week ago, the mannered dweeb that I am, offered a seat to an apparently pregnant lady.The unsuspecting woman took it. When I didn’t get off the bus, she was confused why I gave up my seat for her in such a crowded bus. Only later did I realize why those silly women around were giggling! The lady was not pregnant. That was just adipose deposition being partial to her stomach! =/

Not to forget my ingenious (I forbid you from rolling your eyes) ways of sneaking out of trouble! Here’s one such gift of mine to bus-commuter-kind. :P

Note to P: My pass expired yesterday. So if you end up breaking your Activa from the routine falling, they wont let me take mine. We'll have to resort to above. :P

posted by Nayantara at 7:18 PM



That was seeillarious!! Esp the *knitting lessons* and *adipose deposit* bits. Heh heh!

Now we know why chivalry is fast dying.

June 2, 2008 at 2:02 AM  

I was arbitrarily browsing and I came across your blog. This post is simply hilarious :D

June 2, 2008 at 3:41 PM  

hilarious dialouge esp ur italic thoughts...

June 2, 2008 at 5:10 PM  

i am scared of crowded buses. i despise them too! and sticking with esteem dude. while on my way to college in a city bus (very young driver) the bus reached a stop where a lot of girls usually get in. the driver, obviously, was open-mouthedly gawking at the girls, and took off when the conductor rang the bell, ploughing straight into the bus parked right in front. that was fun! :)

potty head? lol good one!

p.s. i have no fucking clue what the strange terms you used in this post (italics and in the cartoon) are!

June 2, 2008 at 8:31 PM  

I think i'l start using the new insult: potty-head....I wonder why people can't use something for the body odor...LDWM conversation is beri phunny...

June 2, 2008 at 9:20 PM  

Haha!The activa will need an armour on its sides to survive through my fatal ride! :|

p.s.I dropped it again today while getting back from college! :|

June 3, 2008 at 6:17 PM  

oh well i never take a bus :D and no mob still hu? *thinking of your response to that* lol :D

June 4, 2008 at 9:32 AM  

ahhh!! the eventful bus rides!! have had my share of tormenting conversations while travelling them...and potty head!! man you have some knack of coming up with insults i must say..and yeah there are some pleasures which you really begin to value much more after a few rides on the comfortable buses :)

June 4, 2008 at 11:02 PM  

@ Macadamia the nut
Yes! And some day, men shall carry pepper spray. I see it coming! =o =D

@ boneywasawarriorwayayix
Glad you liked it sire! =)

@ comfortably numb
Thanks! =D I wish I was curt enough to tell those things to him! =D

@ g-man
Lol! He must've been SO embarrassed! I can relate to things like this, you know! =P
taley kettidiya: Along the lines of 'are you retarded?'
yellamma kodi kodi: Something like 'Tickets/ pass?'
torsebeku: You must show
pass beku anta heLiddu: 'I said I wanted a pass.'

@ P
You so badly want to die?

@ vishesh
That was my mobile. A 6300 at that. =P

@ nefarious outlook
Thanks pisspot. =P
Yeah, it IS tough to like something as harrowing as bus rides. =D

June 5, 2008 at 9:57 AM  

It looked like hustle BUSTle. I read. I got disappointed. :(

But I grinned :D

Especially on remembering the busted gchats :D

January 24, 2009 at 1:02 AM  

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December 4, 2010 at 8:01 AM  

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